Day 3: Shame on me. :(

Day 3 is here. No smoking...well, not exactly. This is the hardest thing I've done in a long time. I woke up this morning feeling quite fuzzy-headed, dizzy and like my brain couldnt catch up to my eyes as I was looking around. I was slightly more tired than usual until I got up and moving. I was fighting the urge to go smoke a 'real' cigarette so hard. Around 10am, I gave in. I lit it like I had for the past 12 years and took one drag. GROSS! When I inhaled, the junk hit my lungs like a ton of bricks. My chest hurt. It tasted like I licked an ashtray. A few minutes later, I thought, let me try again. I lit another. GROSS, again. Above all this, you want to know what hurt the most? Guilt. What had I just done? I thought that couple real puffs wouldnt hurt me...and I'm glad it didnt work out between us because I couldnt imagine telling my husband (who's begged me to quit since we've been married..6 years!) that I started again. I thumped the cigarette to the road and left it there. So, I admit to weakness, but in a way I'm glad that I lit those two cigarettes...now I know that after 12 years, its not worth it. I think you just get used to the taste (wow, its nasty now!!) and the way it feels when the junk hits your lungs and after a while, its no big deal. Even after just 3 days, its a big deal to me. Lisa, my sister in law, has also quit. However, she's quit even the E-Cig. (Let me say again how proud I am of her and her husband for quitting...they're really the inspiration for me!) She was telling me this morning that when you smoke, the chemicals paralyze parts of your lungs called cilia (that might not be spelled right!) and those things are used to flush the crap from your lungs. So, when I analyzed it, that means that for 12 years my lungs havent been able to flush themselves. Yuck! I'm sure I'm at the beginning stages of withdrawls, which is normal, I just pray its not any worse than this. There is such a thing called "quitters flu"...and I know I dont want that. I'll take fuzziness anyday! :)

Thank you all for reading and for your encouragement here and on Facebook. I hope I can be an inspiration to other smokers to quit as my family has been to me. If you'd like details on the product I'm using to assist in quitting, go to http://www.smoke51.com/ or ask me and I'll gladly explain.

Have a great night. God Bless.